life

Start Believing In Yourself

13 commentsWritten on October 3rd, 2010 by
Categories: life, Opinions

Far too often have i seen coworkers, friends or just people that i sorta know doubt themselves for no good reason whatsoever. Far too often have i seen this lead to missed opportunities, increased frustration and an ever decreasing amount of self confidence. For no good reason whatsoever. Each and every one of those people is capable of more than they give themselves credit for, yet very few of them would agree with me on that. And it is just such a waste. It's a waste of energy, time and talent/capabilities.

Me being the person that i am, i can't avoid sharing my opinion on this with them. And more than a few of them have said something along the lines of "that's easy for you to say, things just happen for you and you often just get your way". Well, i certainly don't get my way 100% of the time, nor would i want to because it would take away too many learning opportunities. But there is some truth to what they say because things indeed go 'my way' often enough. You wanna know why? Because i have a strong belief in myself. And when people talk to me, they generally realize that i'm indeed confident in my abilities instead of being perceived as insecure (note: it certainly isn't something i was born with, i had to 'cultivate' it)

And that, truly, is what you need to achieve for yourself. You simply can't expect anyone to believe in you if you don't even believe in yourself. You need to realize that you are capable of more than you give yourself credit for. You need to believe that you can improve and that there is more to you than what you're currently doing. You need to believe that there is no reason whatsoever that you should doubt yourself. Now, that doesn't mean that you should think the world of yourself or that you can do anything. That would in fact be highly counterproductive.

There are two things that you need to achieve something: one is hard work, and the other is confidence. You'll never get anywhere with hard work if you're not confident. And you'll never get anywhere if you're confident without putting in the hard work that really is required. Combine hard work with confidence however, and you will almost surely be rewarded for it in some way, sooner or later. It is however very important to remember that you should never be (or appear to be) over-confident. In fact, i've experienced on quite a few occasions that it actually helps tremendously to be completely honest about your shortcomings or any mistakes that you've made. If 'important' people ask you a question that you can't answer, don't bullshit them. Instead, simply say "you know, i have no idea... i'd have to look into that before i could make any statements on that". A lot of people are afraid to say that, but trust me, people will respect you for it. And if they don't, well, in the long term they're not worth trying to impress anyway.

Also, don't be afraid to talk about your shortcomings or faults. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has issues, and everyone has flaws. Pretending not to have any of those will only result in people not believing you in general. Allow me to demonstrate this with an example. I'm gonna mention something about myself that quite a lot of you will laugh at. And even though there's going to be about 3000 people reading this, it really doesn't bother me to talk about this. Ready? Here it is: i utterly suck at parking cars. Yes, i'm male. Yes, i know we're supposed to be good at that. And yes, i know many people think it's embarrassing not to be able to properly park a car. And you know what? I truly couldn't care less whether or not that made you think less of me as a person, or a developer who's blog you happen to be reading, or even worse, are subscribed to. Because i know that it doesn't define me as a person. If anyone were to think less of me because i can't properly park a car, i'd take that as a big warning sign that that person probably has a shitload of insecurities himself and he's not quite being honest with himself. You've got issues as well and you've definitely got stuff that you're not good at either. Do yourself a favor: learn to accept it and be happy with what you can do.

And it really is as simple as that. Believe in yourself. Work hard. Be honest about your mistakes and your shortcomings. If you don't get any opportunities despite that, then you're wasting time on the wrong people, trust me (it's a lesson i very recently learned all too well). Build up your confidence. Go out and score with a hot chick (or guy if that's what you want), run a marathon, build some cool software, or do whatever else it takes for you to build up your self esteem. Seriously. Once you truly start to believe in yourself, you'll be amazed at how much easier life becomes. It's still not gonna be perfect, but well, at least you're gonna do a lot better than you used to. Quite frankly, there is no reason whatsoever to doubt yourself or your capabilities. You simply need to go out there and maximize those capabilities. And if you fail, as we all do from time to time, learn from it and come back stronger. That's really all there is to it.

Avoiding (Or Recovering From) Burnout

11 commentsWritten on September 1st, 2009 by
Categories: life, Off Topic, work/career

A lot of software developers that are passionate about their craft spend a lot of time on it. They spend a lot of time reading interesting blogs, reading books about development, coding on some hobby projects, or maybe even contributing to open source projects or writing interesting blog posts of their own. Hell, just trying to stay up to date with all the new stuff that continually comes out can be one hell of a challenge in its own right. And a lot of this effort is typically spent outside of our normal working hours.

There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it is extremely important to remember to take some time off, not just occasionally, but frequently. Software development can be very interesting and a lot of fun, but you really need to make sure that you find some kind of a healthy balance in your life. If you spend too much time on this, odds are pretty high that eventually you'll start to lose your passion for it, and even worse, that you really don't feel like spending any time on it at all anymore.

I reached that point somewhere at the end of May this year. I completely lost my motivation for both my job as well as the whole blogging thing. I didn't really care about writing code anymore, i couldn't be bothered to catch up with the RSS feeds that i subscribe too, and i could hardly fake interest whenever technical discussions came up. The fact that i was going through some personal stuff certainly didn't help either. But the biggest reason was probably the fact that i was just trying to do too much in the months before that.

And then i simply stopped caring about it. I still tried to do my job to somewhat satisfactory levels but my heart certainly wasn't in it anymore. After work, i didn't write any code, nor did i read about it anymore. I just started doing other things. Whatever i felt like doing basically, as long as it wasn't related to software development. I did write a couple of posts during this period, but none of them were actually any good.

Somewhere in the middle of July, my interest in software development was slowly coming back, but it was still more of a sporadic thing instead of the passion that it used to be. The most important thing that i learned at that time was that i simply shouldn't force myself to spend time on something if i don't feel like spending time on it at that time. I occasionally spent some time writing code or doing a bit of reading, but i was alternating between the geek stuff and the normal stuff more than i used to.

That turned out to be the key to my 'recovery'. And for the past couple of weeks, i've felt kinda reinvigorated. I care about software development again. I love spending time on it again and my motivation is as high as it used to be.

So now you're probably wondering why on earth i'm posting this? For one, it feels good to get this off of my chest. And secondly, because i'm willing to bet that there are a ton of developers who feel the same way. Take it from someone who's been through it: as much as you love software development, make sure that you don't spend too much time on it. When you feel like spending time on it, then by all means, do so. But never, ever spend time on it outside of your working hours if you're not really in the mood for it, or when you feel like you have to, or when you'd rather be doing something else. You're already spending 8 hours a day on this stuff, so you should only spend extra time on it when you really want to. If you ignore this advice, you might end up not wanting to spend any more time on it at all, and that is a situation you really want to avoid.