Everybody Wins In The Certification Game

You often hear developers complain about the value of certifications.  Most certifications are worthless in my opinion, and you sure as hell don’t need to be smart or talented to be able to get certified.  The only thing you really need is time. That’s it.  So i can understand why so many people in this industry are frustrated with people who are either too hung up on their certifications, or the companies and/or customers who value them so greatly.  But fear not, my friends, for the truth is that we can all benefit from the software certification game.

If you’re a company or an individual who’s looking for an easy way to make a few extra bucks, just create your own certification! The only reason certifications exist is to make more money and there is no reason in the world why you wouldn’t be able to do the same.  Want some proof?  People are paying money to go to a 2 day course which ends with them being proclaimed Certified Scrum Master.  Obviously, most people who’ve actually given it some thought know that it’s a pretty meaningless certificate but hey, plenty of people are willing to pay for it, so why not take advantage?

Suppose you’re a developer who’s primarily interested in getting a nice cushy job for some company where it’s easy to get away with incompetence or an actual lack of demonstrable progress.  The best possible thing for you to do is to get yourself a couple of buzzword-laden certifications, apply with some big companies who’s core business is not software development and that’s it.  You’re pretty much set for life if you want to.

Suppose you’re a developer who’s primarily interested in interesting work.  Simply stay away from every job that lists one or more certifications in its requirement, or even hints that certification might improve your chances of being hired.  Ignoring those kind of jobs probably improves your chances of interesting work by a significant amount and as a bonus, you relieve yourself of the pain of having to deal with people who value certifications.

If you’re a company who’s looking to hire somebody or some other company to develop some software for you, while you have absolutely no idea where you should go, what to look for, and simply don’t want to get fired, then just hire the company that can show you the highest number of certifications.  The software that will be delivered might suck or it might not.  But one thing is for sure: you will not get fired if the software turns out to be a mess.  After all, you hired certified professionals so surely, you can’t be blamed for this fiasco.

As you can see, the certification game really does provide plenty of positive opportunities for a variety of people and interests.  The only people who don’t benefit from the certification game at all, are end users and consumers.  But then again, this industry has a very strong history of not caring about them anyway, so that’s not really a problem we should care about, right?